What is wrong with me?

What is wrong with me?

What is wrong with me?

Posted: 14 Oct 2011 01:44 AM PDT

I know something is wrong with me...I just know it. I am only 15 years old, i have already been through self-injury, anorexia...and I just recovered from some pretty nasty depression. I have insomnia currently...and i don't know....something is just.....wrong. I have a TON of symptoms from bipolar...like the whole manic/depressed thing...but I just don't have it as severe as you would if you were bipolar. (NO it is not what people have suggested...just 'emotions'....) my 'manic' is more I can't stop smiling and laughing and giggling for an hourish...even when I am not happy, and then my depressed happens after and I just sit there. I don't have inspiration to do anything.....and then it switches again. (and in my depressed times sometimes I get all freaked out and my hands start to shake and its like i can't control my emotions...it's weird) I don't know what to do. BTW No I don't have a school counselor, we only have ONE hospital (no we don't have a second or third....just ONE!) and my aunt works there, and even though she could lose her job if she talks about patients, she tends to tell close family members about people we know who go there. Our town has a psychiatrist...and anyways she isn't very good AND I can't afford her because I would be paying for it myself. My mom knows I used to cut and she knows I used to also be suicidal and anorexic....and she FINALLY stopped crying every night, so I really don't want to hurt her anymore...can i just do THIS on my own? Can i legally go to a doctor and get some meds or something? Argh...I don't know what to do...thanks guys.

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