Thoughts about my gf's past make me lose interest during sex, help..?

Thoughts about my gf's past make me lose interest during sex, help..?

Thoughts about my gf's past make me lose interest during sex, help..?

Posted: 05 Mar 2012 01:12 AM PST

First of all, thank you for reading this. I am together with this gorgeous woman that means the world to me. We've been in a long distance relationship for 9 months, and we've meet in person just recently, and we just fell inlove with one another so much more. A few night before we decided to get intimate, and here starts the problem... From the beginning she told me that she had a "friend with interest", which kinda bothered me but I tried not to judge, and I didnt, she was just an internet friend at the time. He was a immature "man" with no future views, and after we started talking some more we just clicked, even if we are so far away from one another, and the age difference (I'm 20, she's almost 24), so she put the past behind her and dedicated herself to me. I tried to put it aside too, but sometimes her slipping some details fueled by my curiosity and put in my mind graphic details I never wanted to know about what she did with that disgusting fuck... anyways I tried to move past that because I love her so much, and I know that the past doesnt matter, but the woman that's next to me now, in the present. Anyways, then at the end of the first month of being with her ( june 2011), one of her ex boyfriend (which I found recently was her fuckbuddy to at the beginning to.. :\ ) sent me an email explaining in details what they did, and that why I shouldn't be with her, AND he attached pictures of them having sex taken without her approval, and 2 videos... I watched 2 pictures, I almost puked, I couldn't watch the videos :(.. I stayed all night with tears in my eyes thinking what to do next, I've never been so inlove with someone, and so hurt at the same time.. Well, time passed, tried my best to put it off, everything runned great. But then again, 1 week before she came here, I got an email from him and I was DUMB enough to read it x(.. And now, when she is here and we decided to get intimate and have sex, everything is fine and then all of a sudden I think about how she had unprotected sex with people that she wasnt even in love with, and looking at her thinking I see what they've seen, thinking at those images I've seen with her and that guy.. makes me go soft and lose interest instantly :'( I need help I dont want to talk with her about this anymore, that's why I'm posting this here anonymously. its not her fault, I understand that the past is past and she is a change person, such a beautiful girl. But I cant control those thoughts in my mind, this never happened to me before, I could stay hard for a long time with no problems... :\ Pls help, she truly loves me and understands me, she traveled 10.000 miles just to be with me, she is the girl I want to spend my life with, I feel like I disappoint her.. :( Thank you for reading this..

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