I think I'm a compulsive/pathological liar...?

I think I'm a compulsive/pathological liar...?

I think I'm a compulsive/pathological liar...?

Posted: 15 Mar 2012 01:10 AM PDT

It has gotten very bad. I realize I have a problem. I'm 25 yrs old. I hadn't noticed how bad it has gotten until recently...mainly because I quit my job a month ago but I am still pretending that I go to work everyday to this guy I am dating. I'm embarrassed to tell him the truth because he thinks I'm this smart, beautiful, perfect girl. I used to lie to an ex-bf and tell him I was going to my college classes even though I dropped them...did that for like 2 months. I also used to lie to another ex about taking guitar lessons, when in fact, I stopped going to those weeks ago but just kept pretending that I was. ie. I would call him in my car and say "Class is going great! There was this girl in the class who..." and make up a story to make it sound believable. I lied to a whole group of people I know that I play the piano. I took piano lessons when I was younger, but trust me....I exaggerated it to the point where they think I'm excellent at it. I'm also dating 2 guys at the same time. Both pretty seriously. It's getting bad because one of them is wondering why I never answer my phone on the weekends. He started a huge fight with me about it. I'm not sure how many more times I can use the "my phone was dead and I left my charger in my friend's car and she went outta town for the weekend" kind of BS lie anymore, something along those lines...I never thought I would do this again because I dated 2 different guys ("girlfriend" to both) when I was 20yrs old for 3 and half months until they both found out. It was so stressful and I swore I'd never do that again....but now here I am, 5 yrs later doing the same g'damn thing :( All my friends and acquaintances think I have this "perfect" life. I drive a nice car, I'm a trend setter, popular, have my own place, pretty and all the guys hit on me anywhere I go. But they don't know that I'm trendy because I'm a compulsive shopper...they don't know I have my own place but it's an absolute disaster here, I never take care of it because I'm always out drinking or shopping, it's in a constant state of "being hit by tornado"....they don't know that I'm pretty because I spend so much time barely eating to "stay skinny" and fit into all those tiny, tiny clothes I spend so much money on. My life is a complete mess...........I'm sitting here typing this because I just don't know what to do anymore, how to put an end to this madness. Sometimes I don't feel like going out so I stay here in my mess of an apt and lie to my friends telling them I'm at some party or club across town to make them believe I'm still out even though I sit at home in a state of anxiety...sometimes I feel manic. I get angry and pissed off for no reason, I have extreme mood swings....I just want to be sane again. I think I got this from my mom. I remember being 5 yrs old and she used to tell my dad she was going shopping when really she was meeting up with another man. Also, once we were having Thanksgiving dinner (again, I was 5 or 6 yrs old) and afterwards she told my dad she was going to visit her friend Theresa because she lived by herself and would be lonely on Thanksgiving ... but I cried & cried for my mom to stay with all of us on Thanksgiving so she said I could go with her and guess what? My mom and I walked 3 blocks from the house and went to spend the rest of Thanksgiving with my mom's "other man"....I never forgot about that. There were other things too, but I just remember that Thanksgiving the most out of any other memories. Does anyone have any advice for me? If this is something I have ingrained since childhood, how do I stop this compulsive lying??? Thank you in advance. I know this is a tough one..........I'm living it :(

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