Help please, I'm not sure why I'm the way I am?

Help please, I'm not sure why I'm the way I am?

Help please, I'm not sure why I'm the way I am?

Posted: 03 May 2012 01:07 AM PDT

Hi everyone! I'm 19 and a freshman in college, and hopefully you can help me out. Well, I don't really know where to start to be honest. I guess I'm not really happy. Like, not happy at all. The thing about me is that I'm a happy person almost all the time, but I know that I'm not happy, if that made sense. By no means am I ungrateful or should have a reason to be unhappy- I go to one of the best public colleges in the world, I have a family that loves me, great friends (offs not a large amount), a good life overall. But there's just a lot missing from it I feel like. I see all my friends declaring their majors and relaxing their life goals, and I still haven't found that, and I doubt I'm any closer than I was in high school. I'm terrified not knowing what I want to do with my life,that I might do something I regret or hate doing for the next 40 years. I just..have no idea what direction I'm going in with my life, and that scares me. Another thing that I'm missing is what probably half the stuff on here is about- relationships. Now I haven't had a legitimate girlfriend since middle school, and that doesn't count in the long run anyway. I've never kissed a girl, and never had sex. The sex thing I'm ok with though, I know that'll come eventually. But never having kissed a girl at 19? Come on, you've gotta admit that's pretty sad. I even admit it. And it's not for a lack of trying either- I've asked a few girls out, but it's always the same: "it's not you, it's me", or basically that. And I just keep thinking, if it was them, wouldn't they try to make it so that it could work out rather than give an excuse? But I don't harbor any resentment at all, I'd never do that to anyone. I just feel like if not now, then when? So that's another thing I've got going on. I guess I'm just not happy with my life right now to be honest. And also, I'm someone that gives really good advice, so my friends talk about their problems to me, and I don't mind helping at all, I'm glad to know that they trust me and look to me for help. But at the same time, I'd like someone to ask how I was doing. Even then though, I doubt I would say anything..I feel like I'm bothering my friends whenever I start to talk about my problems, like it's a burden to them. And maybe that sounds stupid, but I've always been like this, wanting to help and not expecting anything back. I guess I just want someone to ask how I was, so I know that someone cared. I just see all my friends having these great lives, they're figuring out what they wanna do with their careers, my best friend has been with his girlfriend for two years, and right now try seem bound for marriage (I'm kidding, but they're great together, so I hope that's the case!), my other best friend is doing great things at her college, and I'm wondering now what do I have? I guess I'm not fulfilled in my life, or I'm not happy, or both. So after all that, I guess I'm wondering- what do you think is wrong with me? Why am I this way when I shouldn't be? And is there anything you could tell me that'll help? I guess I just need some reassurance, something like that. Thank you so much for reading, I appreciate it a lot. I know it was a long read, and you'd really be helping me by answering my questions. Thank you again :)

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